Where am I?

I'm in a country where...

...the word "kindly" has apparently replaced the word "please".
...a tabloid-like newspaper will use the word succubus (in connection with Paris Hilton) without flinching
...it's only just starting to be "an issue" not to wear a helmet when on a motorbike ("2 boys killed in 90kmph m/c smash")
...a family of 3 can be killed by a car while cooking.
...bedraggled teenagers with a babe in arms will knock on the car window at traffic lights. And keep knocking, despite 100% negative body language that "you will NOT be getting anything from this car's occupants".
...your carrier bags at the supermarket are counted by the bag packer, recorded on your receipt, and then 10 yards further on they are counted again by the security guard and the receipt stamped with "delivered".
..."fairness" creams outsell tanning creams by infinity %
...Bryan Adams Rock Anthems play in supermarkets, swiftly followed by a bit of Bhangra.
...babies play on the central reservations of dual carriageways without being carted off by social services.
...slums spring up 20 yards from 5 * international hotels.
..."Health & Safety" is something for someone else to worry about. Now let me get on with welding this thing right over some agent's head, standing in bare feet on a metal ladder.
...the cleaning company pays its staff to wash the ornamental pebbles inside the office (gather them up, dunk them in a bucket, put them back again).
...in a free association test, "World Cup" means cricket not foopball.

Yes, I'm in India again. Now, and for 3 days only.